Below are the 20 most recent journal entries recorded in Anthony Stuart's LiveJournal:

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Saturday, November 3rd, 2007
3:20 am	Chapter 1 Nanowrimo time again!!!! Here is the first chapter of my new story. It's a good start for sure. Facts the numbers: word count 2,435. since it is the 1st chapter that si also the grand total. ( chapter1 ) I hope that works, been awhile since i've done a cut post. or i should say jsut a post here. later g Current Mood: creative (3 Comments |Comment on this)
Monday, September 10th, 2007
1:43 am	if If you really want to here stuff about me then look here http://www.myspace.com/errantknightzan basically my life is not much to write about. but since it is september that means Nanowrimo is coming up in a couple of months, November. still haven't decieded if I'll use this as my post place for my story again this year. It's probley the top choice since it is so easy to post to and is what I have used for the last 5 years. we'll see. later g P.S. There is no threesome midgits. I don't like crowds. So it's just me and my amputee goth chick. haha right whatever. Current Mood: creative (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Sunday, July 8th, 2007
11:18 pm	here and there i know i haven't posted here to much lately. nothing much excieting has happened to me as of late. I'm still looking for a place. still waiting to see what my raise at work is going to be, holdoing out little hope that it is more then the normal yearly raise. why because i'm training managers that they have put in other stores and givin promotions and stuff. funny thing, i'm good enough to train this guys and yet i'm not good enough for the pormotions myself. hum well that's that. i wish some of my old friends would would come back to eq. i still play. still have fun but miss some of my old friends that i use to play with. well even as i type this i'm on eq on the other computer trying to get a group and go hunt some where. more later g Current Mood: relaxed Current Music: unwell (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Thursday, May 17th, 2007
12:30 am	It was fun The day was sunny; there was a light breeze that felt good for the crowds. That same breeze played havic with the fire eater. His show was good and very funny. The gipyes danced on the stage looking very alluring in their skimpy outfits. Oh yea. There were all sorts of swashbucklers, swordsman & woman, bar wenches, fops, and royalty about the area. Even some elves showed up. Let me tell you there were a couple of those elves that looks really beautiful. My sister, my nephew, and me shot the bow and arrows. My sister and my nephew did the throwing knives also, I did the throwing axes. My sister liked the throwing knives. It was cool watching my sis and her son throwing knives and shooting arrows side by side on mother’s day. I have to admit that is something I never thought I would say about my sister, having fun with the knives and arrows. I guess after all these years I can still learn something new about my sis. We got to see a joust. Before it started there was taunting between the audiences on each side, reminded me of the Knights Tale stuff, very enjoyable. Then the Knights came out. There were 4 of them for this event. There is nothing like the sound of lances hitting full plate armor or of swords hitting that same armor. It was a very enjoyable. I had a fun time that day. I’m all ready planning to go to it next year. When my mom gets the video of the day on to dvd I plan to put up some clips, the ones that can be seen good, not the ones I messed up. Look for those soon. Fun is had by all. Later G Current Mood: grateful Current Music: my cell phone (Comment on this)
Wednesday, April 25th, 2007
2:47 am	an update well i built a new computer recentally. i got it a 500 gig hd. so here are some facts new computer 500gig hd new computer is computer 3 that i have built up computer2 one hd 120 gig and another one at 160 gig for a total of 280 gig also got an extrenal hd it is 250 gig. 500+280+250 is 1030 gig or a terabit worth of stroage space. i think i have enough room for storage for a little while haha and that doesn't include my first computer for which i'm cleaning and give my cosun and my laptop. i'm good for computers right now. i've spending my off days looking at houses. my credit rateing has gone up. i have quite a bit of money saved up. it's been way to long. such a long road getting out of the dept i was in. i can't wait to have my own kichten, i just hope my stuff is still good after sitting in stroage for so long. i'll find out soon. other then that work is the same old stuff. but i have a plan. use the fact that i have had a stabel job for al these years to get into a place of my own. then find out what i need for expences and such. apply for grants and what ever else i can get, i want to stay away from loans if i can. then find a job that will work with me going back to college, hopefully as soon as this fall but since it is all ready may that may not be possible now. but i have waited this long six more months wont make a difference. it feels good to actually be able to have plans. to really make them and work for them. it feels like something that i was missing for such a long time. no fire in my eyes, my shoulders weighed down with all the dept i was in. it's not a wonder why some one doesn't even talk to me any more or even anolage my exestance. well it's 3am i need to head to bed so i can get up and use the day to look around at places. i have a couple of leads. with any luck one will pan out. Current Mood: hopeful Current Music: n (Comment on this)
Thursday, April 5th, 2007
5:26 am	Funny I started a myspace page the other day. A couple of friends and I worked on it a bit while we were at dinner. We had just got it started, just very basic profile stuff on it the place we wer at was closing so we had to stop working on the page. In the time we stop that and I finially made it home wasn't even 3 hours probley less, I had all ready gotten an message on my page. They said they liked what they saw on my page. Ok what did they like? my name? my age? the fact i am a pisces? or is it where I live? I don't have any pics on my myspace still, I didn't have any interst on there yet and only 2 friends, one being that Tom dude at the time. So what did they like about me, hahahaha. Yes it was spam and by the next day that profile of that nice looking lady was all ready deleted. I found it very funny Current Mood: silly Current Music: Babylon 5 s2 (Comment on this)
Saturday, March 31st, 2007
12:08 am	a quote You get what every one else gets............A Life Current Mood: hyper Current Music: my crew working (Comment on this)
Thursday, March 29th, 2007
2:36 pm	My Mind I write a letter saying How much I miss her How much I love her How much I wish she loved me the same Should I send it What would it do She has gotten over me Left me behind Why Can't I do the same Am I a fool for not moving on She fills my thoughts more times then I can count I no not what to do or even how to do it Current Mood: confused Current Music: Babylon 5 s1 (Comment on this)
Wednesday, March 14th, 2007
9:55 pm	today It was a good day. I was having fun. That's when I saw her. She was in the arms of this other guy all happy and such. So now I'm stuck feeling so tossed aside and all that crap again. My heart skipped a bit when I saw her. I so did love her, thought of her as my best friend some one i could spend the rest of our lifes together. And now nothing, 6 years I thought something speical of her and us but now there is totally nothing. Like i don't exiest or something like that. Why am I obbessing over this. I should move on, hell she did. I need to just be me. I'm doing good with so many other things in life. So why when I saw her so briefelly did it ruin my whole day? I guess I miss her so much. I miss Alex, I thoguht of her as a daughter even though she wasn't really mine. Still all the same I still remember the night she was born. I closed the store I was working at and went up to the hosspital. She was just a few hours old when I was her for the first time. A cold decemeber night and I was so excieted entering the hosspital they were at. I just need to take the good memeries and move on. I hate that I feel that way. No more for now. I need to head off to bed early day of work tomorrow. Current Mood: tired Current Music: The Secret (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Tuesday, March 13th, 2007
3:52 am	here and there I'll be around if anyone wants to talk. if not i'll still be around. i'll be no where, no one, no place. later g Current Mood: lonely Current Music: Coast to Coast talkshow (Comment on this)
Friday, March 2nd, 2007
4:04 am	a real kind of poem ok here it is, about a week past from what i promessed but i found it a bit harder then i thought to find an ending that i liked. Tracks A dark start lit night Staring down the tracks Waiting in the cold night air Right on time a dot of light appears The shrill whistle lets me know it has made it to the crossing The light gets brighter as it gets closer The silhouette of the monstrous engine forms My heart quickens in anticipation Lager the engine’s silhouette grows The dot of light floods my sight The power of the engine courses threw my soul as the train courses down the tracks Waving at the engineer as he passes just a couple of feet from me. He blows the whistle that reverberates threw my being. “Grandpa I want to work on trains just like you.” I saw the little boy I was so many years ago at the train yard. My course was as clear as the tracks “Would you still want to be an astronaut even after the tragic loss of the Space shuttle Challenger” “Yes,” my course was as clear as the stars I wanted to visit. “Ready to go to college?” “Yes,” my course was still ahead of me “It is said there is a stealth plane now.” “Would I love to be a test pilot to fly something like that.” My course was high in the sky. “Yes I will marry you. I love you forever.” Our lives were down the same paths. The shrill whistle brought me back to the here and now. I see the little red flashing dot that ended the train. It has passed me by. Leaving me standing out in the cold night. By the tracks hope you like, comments are welcome. on other news i think i have my chr list for a new plot line i have been working on this year. later g Current Mood: creative Current Music: celtic stuff (Comment on this)
3:46 am	you know when you shop at a store to much when they send you a birthday card. anyway they probley do that to every one that has a best buy card. i got 12% off of something and that thing was a bluetooth headset for my phone. i don't get that many calls any more but now i have a nice head set for my phone, why i don't know. also when i was pairing my head set to my phone i finially found out how to bluetooth sink my phone to my laptop. so kind of cool. now i wonder how long it will be before i get my first call so i can see how well this thing works or doesn't work. if it doesn't work to well i hope i get that call before the return peorid, haha. Current Mood: artistic Current Music: South Park (Comment on this)
Sunday, February 25th, 2007
2:47 am	Some days are better then others. This is not one of them. I'm so tried, so alone. I'm tired of being told I'm not good enought to be 1st asst. or a manager after all I gave up for that place. I'm tired of being alone. I feel that I have wasted my life. I'm tired of that feeling. So very tired. Tired of it all. Tired Tired Tired I wish sleep would help with this kind of tired but something much more that is needed. Current Mood: tired Current Music: the tube (Comment on this)
Friday, February 23rd, 2007
2:36 am	A stark realization So today at work we watched the security video from the other morning. it was just after 3am a couple hours after the night crew had left the store and before the openers had came in. anyway to make a long story short a stack of the tea cups flew off the counter and landing on the floor. yes a new store and it is haunted. so here is what i thought. when i was in really bad shape and thought about wanted to get away from it all like life. if i had done it and commeted sucide the karmatic backlash would have been-- being stuck haunting a mcdonalds like this poor soul i have now at my store. so now that's a very very good reason not to do it, hahahahahahahahahahhahahaahahahaahaha. so my thoughts are on the strainge and wierd side right now. i actually have this poem, not a rant like most of my stuff is but a real poem. i like it but it is on my laptop right now. so i'm going to do one more re-read and re-edit and i'll post it by the end of the weekend. Current Mood: creative Current Music: South Park (Comment on this)
Monday, February 19th, 2007
2:36 am	so sad No man should out live his fictional wizard boo who Current Mood: lonely Current Music: family guy (Comment on this)
Sunday, January 28th, 2007
2:46 am	Dreadful Tonight i found out that Krispy Kreeme's is no longer 24/7. They close at 1am now. What am I going to do now? *looks around lost* Current Mood: sad Current Music: Love Song For a Vampire- Annie Lennox (3 Comments |Comment on this)
Thursday, January 25th, 2007
2:37 am	my one potical rant of the year at work i normally have cnn or sports on the tv. tonight since the ut game wasn't on (and now that i found out the score and what happened i would have been more upset) i had cnn on. the show Nancy Grace. normally she really anoids me. but the story tonight really gets to me. the city of palm beach is sueing Donald Trump. Why? Because at his place down there he is flying an American Flag to high, oh yea the flag is also to big. The Donald has all ready paid more then $23,000 in fines. Now when did it become illegel to fly the flag on privet porperty? well im Palm Springs you can not even hang a flag over your balicany but yet you can burn the flag in the town sq, it's law. Now this pisses me off. I believe in free speach totally. that means if i'm mad at the government and want to show it by burning the flag then i should be able to. But if I like this country and am proud to live here, then i should be able to fly the flag on my property. i can also make the aurgument that there should be rules on hight and size of the flag if you are in say a urben area where there are powerlines and stuff like that are involved. From the pics that is not the case for the Donalds flag. One Palm Springs rep says that the Donald didn't get the right permits to fly it. Donald himslef said he did go thew the right chanels and even one of the high ups in Palm Springs government is on Donalds side. it is going to federal court and this could turn out to be a freedum of speach suit. In that case like him or hate him I hope the Donald wins. Oh yea one thing. if flying the flag offinds you then maybe you should move to a country whos' flag you like. I don't agree with some of the stuff the government has done over the years. but you know what at least in this country I know I have a chance to make it, one way or another, happiness, money, or what ever would make my life complete. at least i have the chance here in the U.S.A. I may complain. I know I get depressed but really I have a good life. I can say if I didn't screw up here or there maybe I'd have a better life but that's my fault. I have travel much of this country and it is a bieutiful place from sea to sea. Some times I wish I could be farmer and live off the land in the plain states. Or I should have been a truck driver so I can drive around this country. I wanted to be a pilot when I was growing up, I have always loved flying over this land and stairing out the windows. Yes if I had the money that The Donald has I would have a place like his and Yes I would be flying a flag like his, Hell I would get one with the gold frills around it. The rockets red glare showed that our Flag was still there....... Current Mood: infuriated Current Music: Coast to Coast talkshow (Comment on this)
Tuesday, January 23rd, 2007
4:16 am	Judgement Day today i went to take a polligraph test. i guess i pasted he said he doesn't think i took the money. my left hand was shaking so bad when i took it. it was a first for me. i can't wait untill this is all over. it's a pain in the butt for sure. that's all i'm going to say about it. next-- blank my life is so boring now. i'm still wokring up a new story plot and hopefully start writing the actual story here soon. i need to get something done so i can at least try and get it published. i need a new job with better hours so i can get back into classes. i want to take some creitvie writing stuff and science stuff also. i wonder what pay i can take to be able to afford it all, the living expencises ad classes. my head hurts so i guess i should head off to bed and sleep some. i guess i don't wnat to yet. later Current Mood: awake Current Music: wwe (Comment on this)
Sunday, January 21st, 2007
2:54 am	I want you to meet Captain Dunziel who is he? he is me. now i'm not sure if i spelled it correctally but if you want to know what it means or how i got such a title then you just to find the reference i'm useing. it was in a book origanally, can't think of the title at this time. or in one of the epsoides of Star Trek TOS. Captain Kirk was also giving this title when the Enterprise was fitted with the M5 computer. He has to explain what it was to Mr. Spock. So that's how I feel. I feel as though i have now lived my life in insanity with only breif times of sanity. Here is the question. Why have i spent so many year at a place where I don't even like the staple foods? I really don't like Big Macs and I'm not a fry person, only eating them once in a blue moon. I give my loyality and so many years all for not. I suspose I could get me a crappy little apt. some where and just work there as what i am for the rest of my life only coming home to maybe write on the computer or play net games. stay single and be a lonely old fart (probley horny also). Or I can do something about it. I want to choose the later. I really need to get over this self lothing before it distories me. OK if extra feet are handy is extra hands feety? Current Mood: predatory Current Music: the tube (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Friday, January 19th, 2007
3:14 am	read at own risk *slap slap* that's me getting slaped in the face. oh yes more and more i get kicked around. thrown aside yet again!! What more can i say. there is nothing more to say. My only consolation is that they promoted some one that can do the job. at least she is a smart person and will do a good job not like some of the managers they have promoted ahead of me that couldn't even work the computer with out crashing it or took 3 times to past the stupid commensence government serve safe test before they could pass it. i can say she deserves it and i know she can do it and i'm happy for her. BUT i was told i'm not ready. 16 years i have waisted in a dead in job. i know more then most. or so i thought. i gues i know jack crap. i can't do the job, i'm not a good manager. why cause i don't know what else i can do, i know i'm weak on the floor control but i get job done. i'm a quite person. i like it when i can look at a person and they know i'm not happy with them and want them to do thier job with out me haveing to say much, and it goes the other way around if they get smile and a 'good job' from me then they know they did good. i use few words. i guess that's not management style. So *kick kick* go ahead and kick me when i'm down. kick harder might as well. does it matter. do i matter. i mean nothing. i'm nothing. that's what i've been told so i guess it's true. so kick me toss me aside use me what ever the fuck. i know life isn't easy but dang this is really gettng to me. haha there goes my nose bleeding again second night in a row. my natural reastion is to stop it. so i now type with one hand and try and stop it with the other. i'm so stressed and angry now. i need a kick boxing bag to kick and punch to take out some of this other wise i'm going to pop a vessil other then in my nose. i don't what more to say. if i leason to all these people i'm nothing, stupid, jsut something to be used and then tossed aside. i was picked on in grade school,& high school kids can be so cruel but it still goes on and on and on and i don't know why. *laying in the floor feeling every kick in the ribs, every punch in face, every smack in the shins, every cruel insuilt that has been cursed at me* if i go crazy and do something very drastic don't be susprise. let's just hope it something for the positive in my life. must pick myself off the floor. must not believe all these people. need to find who i really am. can't let myself die as much as it seems i want to just let go. God i need some help right now before bad goes to worse and i start believing that i truelly am nothing and that i don't really matter. Current Mood: numb (Comment on this)